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She researches how people navigate their social worldsincluding how language and mental capacity influences interactions. Be curious Ask questions. Research actually suggests that people who ask more questions are better liked by their conversation partners than people who ask fewer questions. A question can either kick off a conversation or keep it xan, Sandstrom says. Give someone a compliment It shifts the focus to the other person and should make them feel good, Sandstrom explains.

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The benefits of talking are not apparent to many people. Since I am a psychologist, it is obvious to me how talking helps people.

Why talking about our problems helps so much (and how to do it)

However, the benefits of talking are not apparent to many people. Talking is cathartic There are many experiences in life that at times leave us emotionally overwhelmed. At these times, we walk around feeling emotionally charged up and filled with tension.

Frequently, what has happened to us cannot be changed, such as when someone we love dies, a tragic accident occurs or we have learned we have a terrible illness. When these experiences descend upon us, we feel emotionally frozen.

We find ourselves stuck in someoone state of despair and pain. At these times, talking can help. There is a word that captures how talking helps—catharsis. Talking le to a catharsis, which means a feeling of relief.

Why does talking about it help?

The charged feelings within us become less charged. Nothing has changed that caused the suffering in our lives, but talking has drained off some of the pain and this brings relief. I did someonne but listen. Listening gives people an opportunity to tell their story, and, in the telling, they find relief and a quieting of their emotions.

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I have many stories of how people benefit from talking, but the story that follows is one I will never forget. Years ago, a woman in her late 40s arrived in my office.

She related that after a prolonged illness with cancer, her year-old son died. I could see the despair and grief she was feeling. For the next two months, this mother arrived for her appointment each week. She started her story with her pregnancy and took skmeone a step at a time through the life of her son.

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I listened. My eyes were focused on her and her feelings became my feelings. At times I smiled with her and at times my eyes, like her eyes, were filled with tears. When our last session ended, she stood hwere, grabbed my hand and thanked me for helping her.

She was so appreciative. She left my office and I have never seen her again, but her story stays with me. Talking helped her. Talking le to new solutions Talking helps in other ways, too.

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Many times when we talk with a friend, a family member or a therapist, we are stuck. But as we talk, we hear ourselves express feelings and information that have not been expressed before. It is this experience of hearing ourselves that allows us at times to suddenly think of what to do. A solution pops into our mind.

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In my practice, I ask people a lot of questions to keep them talking about what troubles them so they might discover their somsone solution. Very often, they are surprised how they suddenly think of how to solve the problem. There is a branch of psychology that believes behavior can be changed by changing the way we think. The client is encouraged to take an inventory aomeone the negative thoughts that pop into her mind throughout a normal day.

Then the therapist and client together work out a series of positive statements to counteract the negative statements.

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The client is then encouraged to talk to herself during the day by repeating these statements. It is a lot like re-programming a computer. Old thoughts that are counterproductive are erased and new thoughts that are positive and constructive are entered into the mind. Audio CD. By Kenneth N.