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But the thing is, so many of awtch have done it, and discomfort is often an invitation to explore your own psychology. Talking to your partner about porn can bring you closerteach you about each other, and help establish boundaries in your relationship. Another reason for that is fear of infidelity: 'porn is the slippery slope, they are desiring what's happening in the porn and therefore they will seek that behavior outside of the relationship.

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But the thing is, so many of us have done it, and discomfort is often an invitation to explore your own psychology. Talking to your partner about porn can bring you closerteach you about each other, and help establish boundaries in your relationship. Another reason for that is fear of infidelity: 'porn is the slippery slope, they are desiring what's happening in the porn and therefore they will seek that behavior outside of the relationship.

Here's how to make a conversation with your partner about porn productive. On the flip side, if your partner doesn't want you watching porn, you have the right to say "no" as well.

In Nelson's experience, when people tell their chqt not to watch porn, they often do it anyway. If you can't accommodate that request, it's better to be honest. You might also discuss specific parameters around porn, like not watching it in front of each other, if you don't want to give it up altogether.

What is it about porn that feels like cheating to you, and where else does that feeling come up? Your partner may be able to reassure you that they aren't thinking of porn stars the way they think of you or that porn won't lead them to cheat — it may even prevent potn, says Nelson. These fears can reflect underlying insecurities about what you look like or how you have sex.

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If you talk about these fears, your partner can reassure you by letting you know how sexy and amazing they think you are. You want your partner to fantasize about you.

But it can also be true that your partner can go to and be stimulated by something else and then bring a lot of that sexual energy back to you, and the two have nothing to do with porm other. Once you and your partner know what kind of porn you each like to watch, you'll have some new ideas for what you can try together.

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What is erotic about this? What turns you on about this?

Could you take the lessons and tools porb are arousing and exciting in this arena and bring it into your relationship? But you may have to get creative in order to fulfill the needs you were fulfilling through porn. For instance, you could make a sex tape yourself to watch when you're craving R-rated material, says Nelson.

Znd, enact the fantasies featured in the kind of porn you like. Whatever you ultimately decide, what's important is that you have a conversation about your feelings about porn usage — because you might find that it's actually about a lot more than porn.